My Cathedral

"It is better to go skiing and think of God, than to go to church and think of sport." 

-Fridtjof Nansen

I was raised in an "Episcopal" household. That's in quotations because, while my mom made me go with her to church very once in awhile (Easter particularly), we weren't regular church-goers until we moved to Bozeman. I went to Sunday school a handful of times, but after repeatedly expressing my distaste I was allowed to sit in the regular service. I didn't find that much better

When we moved we joined the congregation at St. James Episcopal. If you're in Bozeman go check the church out; it's a complete gem right off Main street. By this point I already didn't like church. Sure, I was only 14, but I'd already made an educated (read the bible along with works from a number of other religions) decision as to my religious views. Unfortunately for me, I was only 14, so I had no say in the matter. So Sunday after Sunday I was forced into the car at 7:30 AM and shuttled to church by my parents.

As soon as I graduated high school I was done. I wasn't 18 yet, but my parents and I'd agreed and that was that. I still give my parents crap about how they stopped going when they stopped being able to make me; it makes sense though. They didn't join for the religious aspect, but for the social aspect. Being new to the area, joining a church was an easy way to make acquaintances. Honestly I don't think my parents are religious people. I know my dad describes himself more as spiritual than anything else, and I don't think either of them subscribe to the definition of God in the traditional sense (that big man in the sky, long white beard, etc.).

They're pretty spectacular people, my parents. They refused to talk to me about their political and religious views, instead allowing me to self-educate and make decisions on my own. There are few people who can be conscious enough to refrain from molding their children in their exact image. Because of their methods I was able to decide two things (among many others, obviously) for myself: I am an atheist and I am an immensely spiritual person. How can that be, you may wonder. I do not believe in God. Angels, Heaven, Demons, Hell? Do not believe in them.

So what do I believe in? I believe in the good in people. I believe in the stars in the sky, in the changing of the seasons, in this amazing world in which we live, in the beauty that can be found anywhere. I believe in heart-breaking happiness and beautiful sorrow.

Most of all, I believe in powder.

My god is the mountain, cold smoke my communion, the aspens and pines my angels, those taken too soon my saints. I have faith. Man, do I have faith. You can't ski and not have faith. Faith in yourself, in the snow, in the mountain itself. I worship in the largest cathedral of all; I worship in the world. Under a bower of snow-laden trees, in a world carpeted in white, I search for enlightenment, or peace, or whatever you want to call it.

In my cathedral I'm looking for the steeper side of life.