Self-Image

Popular culture typically portrays women as being the sole sufferers of poor self-esteem or self-image. This is not the case; while men are more reluctant to talk about their feelings, thus making them seem less prone to suffer from this malady, both genders must face constant attack on their identities. This attack could come from any avenue; from stereotypes defined by culture and pop culture alike, from friends and family, and from themselves. As children we are surrounded by unspoken cues as to what we should and should not strive to be. Beauty, above all, is coveted and rewarded. Thus we start applying makeup (no judgement to those guys that use tinted moisturizers), worrying about our wardrobe, doing everything we can to fit into the social definition of beauty.

If those worries weren't enough there are the added layers of intellect, ambition, financial success, and extracurriculars such as athletics or the arts. We should, by all evidence, be a classically-trained violin-playing gold-medalist with a genius IQ, a 401k by the time we're 25, aim for CEO, AND be beautiful. That's a lot of pressure for anyone, but as kids we don't realize the pressure that's slowly being applied to our psyche. No wonder the world is so full of Type A professionals.

Luckily for many, we are able to see the ridiculousness of these things as we get older, or at least learn to settle for/be happy with less than 'perfection'. It is, unfortunately, a cycle, because our kids will end up going through the same thing. We can try to help, but parents put expectations on their children even without meaning to. It's a reality that sociologists repeat time and again: parents want better for their children. It's a GOOD thing, but can have negative effects. Think of the child who is encouraged from a young age to become a doctor; we all went to school with this kid, and they were more often than not incredibly neurotic. I'd love to know a couple of statistics on this bunch: how many ended up not going to med school and how happy are the two groups (did and did not go)? I have a feeling the happier group is the one that stopped living under the constant pressure from their family to 'save the world' or however they see it.

Back to the whole beauty thing: who hasn't suffered from body-image issues? No one. Everyone has had that moment where they look in a mirror and wonder why they can't be pretty/handsome like Jane or John Doe. It's something I've struggled with for years and still do to a degree. With how much conventional beauty is shoved down our throats it would be amazing if anyone didn't. This summer though, for the first time in my life, I'm not afraid of swimsuit season. Not because I've grown 5 inches and lost 5 lbs and am now a supermodel. No, it's because I realize that I'm in decent shape and have nothing to hide. I don't need to cover up; all my imperfections are mine, and if you don't want to see 'em then don't look. I'm proud to be me, whatever that is, and no one can make me ashamed of that except me. I'm just fed up with me telling myself that I'm not good enough, you follow?

That's what it really comes down to: society tells us what is good and what isn't, but we have the choice to believe it or not. Define your own beauty, define your own success, define your own happiness. Screw everyone else, just live your life (as long as there are no casualties from doing so) and keeping searching for the steeper side.